"[The sun] started from purple, to green, blue-ish, yellowy, and orange, and then when it changed to orange it appeared like a moon, and there was like a veil that covered it. It lasted like two minutes. Then another cycle. There were three cycles.... While the color changes, the sun goes up and down, left and right... And it spins very fast. It was like pulsating."
Victoria Tancio of Leonia, who witnessed this celestial impossibility on October 12 at a shrine in Warren, New Jersey, dedicated to Catholic shrine dedicated to the supposed appearance of the Virgin Mary to three young girls in Fatima, Portugal, in 1917. Funny thing is that I don't recall the sun behaving like that, and there was no mention of a pulsating purple sun on the news that night. Seems like the kind of thing someone would have mentioned.

"God's trying to tell me he doesn't want me using drugs because every time I use them I get caught."
Actor and recidivist drug user Tom Sizemore, as quoted by the Associated Press. It's either God telling him not to use drugs or the judge. Same thing, really.

"We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion."
God, speaking to Richard Roberts, president of Oral Roberts University, as quoted by the Associated Press. The son of Oral Roberts--who once raised $8 million from worshipers by claiming God would kill him unless the ransom was raised--Richard is accused of spending university money for personal expenses, among other crimes. Here's my question: would God have to tell Roberts to deny allegations that weren't true? Shouldn't Roberts himself know the the truth without God's help?