"In a place like this, words fail; in the end, there can be only a dread silence, a silence which itself is a heartfelt cry to God: Why, Lord, did you remain silent? How could you tolerate all this?"
Pope Benedict XVI, speaking rhetorically, during a speech at the Auschwitz concentration camp

"I do not know what we did. But we must have sinned for God to be angry like this."
Jodi Riwono, a survivor of an earthquake that struck near the town of Yogyakarta in Indonesia and a man who knows little about plate tectonics, as quoted in Time magazine

"You look at things that have happened to us this year. You look at some of the moves we made and didn't make. You look at some of the games we're winning. Those aren't just a coincidence. God has definitely had a hand in this."
Dan O'Dowd, Colorado Rockies general manager, on his team's first winning season since 2000, which he credits to the organization's embrace of Christianity. As Christians, the Rockies' management has banned profanity-laced music and men's magazines from the clubhouse; the team continues, however, to play in a ball park named Coors Field

"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms."
Lunatic preacher Pat Robertson, displaying his ignorance of meteorology

"My god is a god who wants me to have things. He wants me to bling! He wants me to be the hottest thing on the block."
Mary J. Blige, singer and someone who has obviously never read the New Testament, as quoted in Blender magazine

"I said a little prayer before I actually did the fingerprint thing and the picture. My prayer was basically, 'Let people see Christ through me. And let me smile.' "
Tom DeLay, as quoted in Time magazine, explaining why he smiled in his mug shot after being booked on charges of money laundering and conspiracy

"Thank God because we didn't really have much else going in our game. I thought our five-on-five play was way below our capability level, so thank God our power play was sharp."
Kevin Constantine, coach of the Everett (Wash.) Silvertips hockey team, who offered thanks for having more players on the ice than the opposing team

"Thank God for dead soldiers."
Protest sign spotted at funerals for US soldiers killed in Iraq. Led by Rev. Fred Phelps and attended by members of his Westboro (Kan.) Baptist Church, the protests reflect the fundamentalist church's belief that military deaths in Iraq are God's punishment for the United States allowing homosexuals to live within its boarders

"Human life is a gift from our Creator—and that gift should never be discarded, devalued, or put up for sale."
President George Bush, as quoted from his 2006 State of the Union Address. As of February 2006, more than 28,000 Iraqi civilians and 2,200 US soldiers have died in the war in Iraq; as governor of Texas, George Bush presided over 152 executions

"I, uh, I had a conversation with God, basically. I don't know how to interpret this, but he said, 'I've given you this beautiful gift and you're throwing it away.' "
Fergie, singer of the poorly hyphenated group Black Eyed Peas, quoted in Blender magazine, thanking God for the courage to sing songs such as "My Humps," about her awesome tits and ass

"God has blessed me with legs and ass."
Stacy Keibler, former WWE starlet and current reality show dancer, quoted in Stuff magazine, thanking the Supreme Being for the body parts her male fans most often masturbate to